For absolute beginners
Learn to meditate.
Properly. In 30 days.
Not an app. Not a guided relaxation. A 30-day course that teaches you how to actually meditate — the posture, the technique, the obstacles, the habit. Specific instruction. No fluff.
The Cosmic Turtle has been sitting longer than you've been thinking about sitting. It has opinions about cushions, timers, and alcohol. They are practical opinions, not moral ones.
What the 30 days cover
Everything you need. Nothing you don't.
How to sit, where, and when
Posture, cushions, timers, environment. All the basics covered without becoming an obstacle.
The breath as the path
Why the breath, not a mantra, not a visualisation. Specific physical instruction.
Working with a wandering mind
The wandering mind is not failure. The return is the practice. Day by day, this becomes clear.
The real obstacles
Drowsiness, restlessness, doubt, alcohol and late nights, missing sessions. Practical solutions.
Building a habit that lasts
Anchor the practice before motivation runs out. Specific, minimal, repeatable.
What comes after 30 days
An introduction to metta. A brief on finding a teacher. The longer road ahead.
How it works
One day at a time.
Each day: what's actually happening as a beginner (the honest version), one specific technique to work with, and a practice instruction under 100 words. Short enough to read before you sit. Specific enough to be useful.
No app. No login. One-time purchase, then the full 30-day course is yours permanently — accessible from any browser, any device.
Free preview
Read Day 1 before you buy
No email required. See exactly what the course is and how it's written.
£29 for 30 days.
One-time payment. Lifetime access. Full refund if it's not for you after day 7.
Already practising but stuck? Take the plateau quiz instead →